The drive home.

The single greatest, most life changing experience of my daughter's birth was the drive home.
Did I get into a car accident?
Did I get pulled over?
Did I win the lottery?
No.
I came to a realization.
I gained some interesting insights during my wife's pregnancy. My normally placid, good natured, smiling wife was also a schitzophrenic. At least that's what I thought, based on all the mood swings she would go through. Also, she could eat a lot. Let me re-emphasis that. She could eat A-L0T!!! I remember her waddling out of a gas station quickie mart with a HUGE bag of potato chips, a HUGE jar of salsa, and sporting the biggest, most excited smile I have ever seen. You'd have thought she had found the lost city of gold itself!!!
However, the biggest realization I came upon was that I didn't know this child in my wife's womb. I had no connection to it, no bond, no anything. I mean, I knew it was mine.... but what does that mean? I had no real affection towards it in the least. My wife had bonded with it for nine months. She felt it grow, move, kick, etc. I felt nothing. Come delivery time, I was more concerned that my wife make it out in one piece.
After my daughter was born, i felt terrible. I was holding her, and she was adorable, but.... where was the magic that all father's spoke about? Where were the tears? Where was the love? She looked like me, closed her eyes like me, had the same hair color as me. She had all the positive features of my face, yet I had no recognition of her. My wife took to her right away, why couldn't I? I resigned myself to the fact that it would all come with time. I was beating myself up too badly over it. This was the first time I had ever had any contact with this beautiful little creature. It would be ok. I was her father, and she would fill my heart soon enough.
Well, the next day we were out of the hospital and my wife was being wheeled down to the car. She held my daughter while I held the bags. I loaded up the car, strapped my daughter into the car seat, bid farewell to our nurse, and was off for home.
Then it happened.
My wife made a very strange face and asked me, "Honey, why are you driving so slowly?"
I realized I was doing 20 in a 45 mile an hour speed zone.
The bond had begun. I was driving ever so slowly and ever so carefully in the hopes that nothing would happen to the precious little creature sleeping in the back seat. I was protecting my daughter.
And That's when I fell in love.