You always hear about how parents rush into their kids' rooms to rescue them from some nightmare. Movies and television often show the parents running in to their screaming child looking concerned, but in control. I myself remember being a kid and yelling for my mom to come into my room in the wee hours of the morning, to chase the boogie man, or El Cuco, as we called him, away. I never stopped to wonder if parents were scared. At three years old, my daughter has called many a night to come to her room, many times scared, and I went in like a general going into battle. Noone or nothing was going to hurt my little girl. "I'll save you, baby!!" was my demeanor. Last night, that all changed.
It was a little after 8PM, and I was sitting with my wife in our dining room, deeply engaged in some forgotten conversation, when we hear the most blood-curdling scream we've ever heard come out of my daughter's room. "WHAT'S THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Being apartment dwellers, we hear knocks and bumps all the time, and my daughter always asks what it is. This time, she was screaming, and it was a prolonged scream.... one which grew louder and more desperate. So, what did I do? The brave general, the man of the house, the King of the castle?
I froze.
That's it. I froze. Albeit, only for a few seconds, but I froze. The noise scared me. I looked at my wife and she looked at me, and we sat there for what seemed like an eternity before running into our daughter's room. I remember being afraid of what I was going to see as I walked in there. Visions of her floating in the room, or being dragged across the floor by an unseen force popped into my head (and here I was thinking Paranormal Activity was a weak movie that didn't really frighten me!!). I also saw her fighting off a strange man who was trying to pull her out the window, clinging by her fingertips to the windowsill, as the masked man tugged and pulled her by her legs. I saw her pop out the window and disappear. These thoughts occurred to me in the time it took me take three steps into her room. Luckily, she was in her bed wondering what that noise was.
Whatever the noise, it obviously left a lasting impression on her, as her heart was beating a mile a minute. After much investigating, I ruled out any paranormal activity or burgler, and revealed the source as some heavy toys that had fallen. We comforted her as best we could, and she eventually went to sleep (after much stalling, of course). However, I was left with a wierd feeling.
Why did I freeze?
Well, because I was scared.
I can't be scared!!
Why not?
Because I'm a father!! Parents are not supposed to be scared of ANYTHING!! We are the ones out little ones look to for guidance and strength. We are the heros in times of fear. We are supposed to make the world seem like a safer place.
How could I be scared!?
I was not scared in front of my daughter, of course. I'm SuperDad. I can handle anything.
However, deep down inside I was frightened, and that is not cool.
The fact that I froze, even for a moment, tells me I still have a long way to go in this crazy world of parenting before I get it right.
Friday, January 29, 2010
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Very well said. A few seconds can seem like forever in that situation. I have never heard her screem like that. My heart was beating as fast as hers. In the end, Daddy did come to the rescue even if he was behind Mommy lol ;)!
ReplyDeleteLOL. I was NOT behind mommy!!! Mommy was even more frozen then I was! Haha.
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