Practice what you preach.

I was at a barbeque last night, and was running around with my daughter. We saw a bug, so I reached down to pick it up and show it to her. She is not afraid of bugs. She's actually pretty fascinated by them. So I showed it to her and the other kids, and let it go. Later on I found a toad. I once again picked it up, to the protests of my wife, saying it would pee on me. I showed it to the kids and told them not to pick it up.
Of course the irony of this is that the first thing they will probably do, specially my daughter, is pick one up.
Kids, and adults for that matter, follow examples, not words. One of the main issues many people had with the Crocodile Hunter (RIP) was that he had to touch everything. Of course he would tell those at home not to grab animals, but he did so while holding one. So what did kids want to do? Be like the Croc Hunter, and off into the woods they'd go, looking for snakes to grab. This is how they get hurt. It was a small lesson I learned last night, but a very important one. If you don't want kids to touch something, do something, or go somewhere, you need to practice what you preach. I would really have no legs to stand on if my daughter got stung by a wasp and I asked her why she was playing with them.
"You play with bugs all the time!!"
Practice what you preach.

Follow through.

Was out and about yesterday, and saw a mother telling her daughter, who couldn't be more then a year and a half, not to do something. The little girl was trying to climb up on a small ledge to look at something, and the mother kept telling her not to. The little girl looked up at her mom, and climbed up on the ledge. The mother came over, took her by the hand, pulled her down, and set her on the floor. The little girl looked up at mom with a challenging look, got up, and climbed right back up on the ledge.
What did the mom do?
Rolled her eyes, shrugged her shoulders, and let her daughter have her way.
Something is wrong with this picture.
First off, who's in charge here? Apparently the little girl, since she did what she wanted.
Second, the mom made a tactical error. She didn't enforce her rule.
This may seem small and petty, but this eventually becomes a big problem. Some say it doesn't matter because the child is so small.
At what age does discipline begin?
People have a wrong impression when it comes to disciplining a child. It has nothing to do with hitting them or hurting them. If I were to narrow it down to one thing, the very essence, disciplining your child is to make them do what you want them to. If you tell them not to climb up on a ledge, then there is no way they should EVER climb up on that ledge.
No reason.
More then that, it is the parent's job to follow through on their word. If The mom told her daughter not to do something, the child needs to KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the mom meant business. What exactly should the mom have done? I can't say. There are many ways to handle the above situation. However, what she should NOT have done was given up. She basically told this one and a half year old that mom really had no authority over her, that all she can giv e is a "suggestion" and that she didn't really have to listen.
Growing up, I would never even THINK of answering my mother or father back, or not doing something they told me to do.
Did they hit me?
No. Hitting eventually loses it's effect because the children, who are always getting hurt anyway, will realize they can take it.
They followed through, from a very early age, on their word. If they told me to do something, they made sure I did it. If not, then they made sure I didn't.
The follow through. A very important, and often over looked aspect of raising kids.

The drive home.

The single greatest, most life changing experience of my daughter's birth was the drive home.
Did I get into a car accident?
Did I get pulled over?
Did I win the lottery?
No.
I came to a realization.
I gained some interesting insights during my wife's pregnancy. My normally placid, good natured, smiling wife was also a schitzophrenic. At least that's what I thought, based on all the mood swings she would go through. Also, she could eat a lot. Let me re-emphasis that. She could eat A-L0T!!! I remember her waddling out of a gas station quickie mart with a HUGE bag of potato chips, a HUGE jar of salsa, and sporting the biggest, most excited smile I have ever seen. You'd have thought she had found the lost city of gold itself!!!
However, the biggest realization I came upon was that I didn't know this child in my wife's womb. I had no connection to it, no bond, no anything. I mean, I knew it was mine.... but what does that mean? I had no real affection towards it in the least. My wife had bonded with it for nine months. She felt it grow, move, kick, etc. I felt nothing. Come delivery time, I was more concerned that my wife make it out in one piece.
After my daughter was born, i felt terrible. I was holding her, and she was adorable, but.... where was the magic that all father's spoke about? Where were the tears? Where was the love? She looked like me, closed her eyes like me, had the same hair color as me. She had all the positive features of my face, yet I had no recognition of her. My wife took to her right away, why couldn't I? I resigned myself to the fact that it would all come with time. I was beating myself up too badly over it. This was the first time I had ever had any contact with this beautiful little creature. It would be ok. I was her father, and she would fill my heart soon enough.
Well, the next day we were out of the hospital and my wife was being wheeled down to the car. She held my daughter while I held the bags. I loaded up the car, strapped my daughter into the car seat, bid farewell to our nurse, and was off for home.
Then it happened.
My wife made a very strange face and asked me, "Honey, why are you driving so slowly?"
I realized I was doing 20 in a 45 mile an hour speed zone.
The bond had begun. I was driving ever so slowly and ever so carefully in the hopes that nothing would happen to the precious little creature sleeping in the back seat. I was protecting my daughter.
And That's when I fell in love.